According to my blog archive I originally posted in August
of 2010, nearly two years ago.
I have started and stopped blogging a few times in the last
two years, but I have never actually lost any amount of weight and kept it off.
I noticed this a few weeks ago, and it caused me to have a
really rough few days, lots of crying, self criticism and pessimism. I am ashamed to think about a stranger finding
this blog, and putting the numbers all together, and realizing that my weight
loss experience has been a failure for so long.
If it was just the weight issue, that would be tough enough.
But I have also been unemployed for a year this month. I
have had temp work, so it hasn’t been a continuous year, but pretty close.
It really hurts to admit that I have been fat for five
years, and have been unemployed for one year.
It is also really scary. I am so scared I will never lose
weight. I am so scared that I will somehow never have a job that I like doing.
I am however, determined to get my life moving. Get a job,
lose weight, manage my money, be a good partner, friend and daughter. I can do
these things. I have in the past. I can’t stand feeling stuck anymore, so
despite how scared I am I need to keep pushing forward.
Yay! You updated! It's good to be honest with yourself, no matter what!
ReplyDeleteI've been keeping my receipts in a composition book and writing the dates + amounts at the top...I've put the totals of the days on a calendar and the total for the month at the bottom of the calendar. I've only done June so far and it's not even 100% accurate, but I am pretty startled at how much spending adds up...and I'm fairly conservative, but I noticed that I don't keep track of what I buy very well, which is why I started doing this...I'll show you what I'm doing next time we meet...
I guess it's just the accounting finally seeping into real life for me, but it's really eye-opening for anyone - you don't have to make goals right away, but it's really something to actually see amounts of money being spent on something you see every day (a calendar). Anyway, I just got excited that you posted.
We have been doing a pretty good job keeping track of what we spend. We signed up for Mint.com. This keeps track of all of our bank accounts and credit cards, in one place. We set a real budget for June, but we haven't gone back to see if we stuck to it. In general we are doing alright. I just get frustrated because I don't want to be keeping track alone, and my partner has a hard time making time to sit down with me and look at our finances.
DeleteHey there Callista!
ReplyDeleteI have a quick question about your blog, could you email me please? Thanks!
Melanie : )