haven't posted in a while

totally overwhelmed
struggling with some relationship and job things, so my diet sort of faded away

I am not happy with this situation, I will refocus. It is hard to face this blog, I don't feel like coaching myself or even being nice to myself at all.

I won't give up though.

Second week

Results: 223!

I didn't lose any weight this week. I am okay with that. I had family stuff that involved less than healthy food on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Monday and Tuesday I was an emotional wreck. Sometimes not having a job just catches up with me and I have a few days that feel like a huge struggle, I get really down.

I am feeling better now. I have gotten a lot done this morning already.

I am going to be okay with breaking even. Especially since my first week was so big, I am still on track for my 20 pounds by Thanksgiving goal.

I need to figure out what to do at family functions, there are going to be a lot of them coming up. On Saturday I just got one plate of food, I avoided the dishes that were obviously really bad for me. But three of them in a row just threw me off. My sister often eats an apple or some snack, and drinks a glass of water, before going out to eat with friends. It helps her make better decisions and feel full sooner, so the food isn't so tempting. I can try that. I just have to focus on eating what I need to eat. I don't have to try everything. I don't think anyone will think I am being rude, which happens in some people's family. Just got to keep learning.

Tonight my plan is to make a big salad, and to clean out the fridge. This often makes me feel like I am set up again to do well.

First week weigh in

First week on my short term goal, actually counting all the calories and weighing in. I want to lose 20 pounds by Thanksgiving.

Results! 223! 

I lost 6 pounds. That is probably too much weight loss in one week. But I am okay with it to start with. I am also taking it with a grain of salt, since my weight loss will probably slow down some.

Yay!

My reaction to rich food

My partner bought chantarelle mushrooms at the farmer's market. There are a ton of recipes that are healthy featuring this mushroom. But no, he had to have a cream sauce. So I made it for him. We had chanterelles with prawns and one scallop each, with a white wine, sherry, cream sauce over the top (I used half and half, not cream). The sauce was rich. Oh yeah! and there was a sprinkle of cheese on top too.

The sauce was odd I thought, it turned out too sweet and tangy. It had sherry in it, though I bought a very dry sherry. It also had lemon juice. I think it was supposed to be sweet and tangy and sort of herby. Since we are used to really rich and cheesy Alfredo's here in America it was odd to our pallet. 

So my prawns and one scallop were perfectly done. The mushrooms were sauteed and perfect. But by the end of my meal I was a little grossed out, it was too rich. I've been eating better and wow, I guess it does make a difference. Part of it might be that I had a glass of wine while cooking, and one with dinner, after not eating much today too.

Anyways. I went over my calories on butter, half and half and olive oil to make all the dinner components. But really, I don't think I did by a lot. I ate a tiny breakfast and lunch.

Point? It was worth it to make something new and exciting for my partner.  So I am a little disappointed I went over my calories for something that didn't turn out very well.

Man those mushrooms were delicious though!

And. 
Tomorrow is week one weigh in. I have been cheating and weighing in over the course of the week. I have hope that I lost weight this week and am on track! Let's see if this sauce sticks and tomorrow morning I didn't lose as much as I wanted though.

Keep your hands busy

I have been really successful these past few days at my diet (my diet being I eat fewer calories.) I think a big part of this success is that not only am I trying to think about food less, I am thinking about other little things more. I am unemployed so I spend a lot of time at home by myself. I used to eat whenever I was hungry, or even thought I was hungry. This made it easy to overeat. But I am planning a little party at my house this coming weekend. This party is a crafting party, we are making Christmas tree ornaments. I wanted to make sure the party goes smoothly so I have been doing a lot of prep work. This weekend my partner and I spray painted pine cones. Tonight I took seven odd sized ones that weren't so pretty and painted them with glue and glittered them. They look a lot nicer then I thought they would turn out even. Having something to do with my hands when I not busy helps me avoid eating. It also helps when I eat a small snack and then wait to see if I feel full before I eat again. So far this combination has been working well. I am also really motivated to lose weight this time around.

How am I doing at my diet? Today for breakfast I had refried beans, a Carb Balance tortilla, salsa, light sour cream and Tapatio sauce. This was fine for me, I don't really mind having left overs for breakfast.

I had a zero calorie Fresca and a pear for a snack.

For lunch I had a whole can of light chicken and dumpling soup, I added Tapatio for spice, kinda good kinda weird.

I had a string cheese and sugar free hot cocoa in 1% milk for my snack, since my partner is getting home late from work.

For dinner we are having spicy tomato sauce with sardines, on whole wheat buns, with cheese on top. As well as some kind of salad.

This sounds like a lot, and really, it did feel like I had enough food all day. Just making better choices, and making sure my portions are small.
Yay!