Worked out on a weekend!

My partner and I went to the gym in our apartment complex this afternoon! That means I worked out on a weekend for the first time in months. About twenty minutes of weight lifting, we take turns so we can rest in between sets. We focused on arms and chest. Then twenty minutes on the elliptical machine.

For dinner I am making a recipe I found last week but didn't cook. Quinoa, with sweet potato, mushrooms, caramelized onions and pecans. Sounds good! I am making a whole salad and then dividing it in half, which is only 372 calories each. It should make a lot of salad too. This isn't enough calories for my dinner, so we are having some left over chicken sausages from earlier this week too. So that's a fancy dinner for the weekend!

Fall Goal - Update

I never posted my originals for this fall goal I have set.

I weigh 229. My measurements are probably the same as they were.
Waist 40 inches
Hips 50 inches
Bust 45 inches

I have been counting calories and finally decided how many I should be eating to lose weight. I compared a few websites and a few different methods of doing this. As far as I can tell I have to eat around 2150 to 2240 calories a day to maintain the weight I am at. I didn't think I was eating this many calories every day, I am sure I was at family functions and when we eat out though. At my goal weight I will be eating around 1850-1950 calories per day. I have been counting calories and shooting for 1900 a day to start with. I haven't been feeling deprived. I read a convincing argument that you should be eating around 20% fewer calories then your maintenance requirement to lose weight. For me this would be around 1720.  I think I will go ahead and cut back to this amount. I do want to see some results right away. It is also not too few calories, it is not an unhealthy amount. If I start working out regularly and that doesn't feel like enough calories I will add a few more back in.

It's 4pm and I have 700 calories left for today. I can do that.

Hard Goal

I have been doing so much better. I have been pushing my body, doing activities I didn't use to do. Or things I wasn't sure I could do. I enjoy working out when I make time for it. My partner and I just went camping, with some short hikes and some kayaking involved. It was a workout, it was a fun challenge, and it was good for me.
I don't feel like a fat person most of the time. I think this has contributed to my sort of lackadaisical approach to losing weight. I want to take it seriously, but I have not been able to. I am eating better, and working out more. But I am still eating too many calories to lose weight.

So I need a hard and fast goal. I am going to lose 20 pounds by Thanksgiving. Eight weeks will fly by. Real weigh ins, that I have to post. Counting calories every day.

What will I do with all that time I am not going to spend eating?

I am also going to spend four hours a day, six days a week, applying for jobs. I am coming up on four months without a job. Instead of letting this make me feel worse, I am going to use it to motivate myself. Alright, it's an adventure!

Counting Calories

Counting calories is a hassle! This is true. It takes some patience to sit down and do it. It also takes some practice. At first I have to measure everything, I can't eyeball anything. I also have to make precise portions, and divide them out, so that I know how many calories are in each portion.

Tonight we are having macaroni salad and buffalo chicken strips. And salad. We mostly have salad to fill out a meal, we both like it alright, but is is just salad from a bag lately. I know this isn't the healthiest dinner, but it is okay. I will have to figure out have many calories it is before I know how much I can have, and whether or not the calories were worth it.

1/2 package whole wheat elbow macaroni: 735 (whoa! loads of calories, but they have a LOT of fiber too, so that is at least okay) (Also, to be honest I was chewing up little handfuls of pasta while I was preparing this. Now I have to count those calories into my day too! Sheesh)!
1/2 cup of light mayo: 280 calories
2 Tbs black olives: 25 calories
1 tea mustard: 0 calories
salt and pepper: 0 calories, but being aware of the negatives of salt
2 Tbs yellow onion: hard to tell actually, and 10 or 20
couple of dill pickles: 0 calories, but again with the salt

Tada! It has a total of 1050 calories. I had some with lunch and some with dinner, so I ate 525 worth of pasta salad calories today. I am trying to have around 2000 calories a day. So this amount of calories is fine. I should probably have more calories in the fruit and veggie arena, but it's okay for now. Small steps!

I won't go into the details of counting the calories for the rest of dinner, but it mostly goes like this.

Tips  -  Things that help me keep counting calories even though I think it is boring

Don't throw away the packages! I often open up something and toss or recycle the package right away, and then have to dig it out later to find out how many calories it has.

Measure everything. Like I wrote above, I was eating little bits of pasta as I cooked. These little bites really do add up. Also, if you are doing all this boring stupid work it might as well be accurate.

Count calories in drinks! Beer and wine have calories, don't forget them.

Write down the calories right away, you won't want to go back later and add them all up again. It is time consuming and boring!

Healthy today

Alright BLOG! I can feel you there, in the background, on the internet, waiting for me. Creepy blog thing. I like writing, I like the idea of writing in a blog. I like the idea that in a year when I am skinny and healthy I will be able to look back at all the things I did to get there.
But lately you make me feel weird. You are a reminder that I am not taking care of myself. You are a list of my days on which I did not eat healthy or workout. You are creepy and I no longer like visiting you.

So I'm going to workout in the next few hours, and then come back and post on you that I worked out! I already had a healthy breakfast, and packed a healthy lunch. So there.

Stressed Out

Unemployed is stressful. Unemployed and not actually applying for jobs, because you are sad is even worse! Have not been losing weight. Good thing I didn't actually promote this blog just yet! Ugh!
Had four beers tonight at a dinner I hosted for a couple who we are friends with.
Sheesh.

Workouts Can Be Fun

I was out with my partner a few weekends ago. We felt like we had been stuck in the house all weekend. Well, really I felt that way. So I made him take me to a local park. It has gravel trails winding around, and really does feel like a mini hike. As we got out of the car, it felt too hot and I was sweaty. I wasn't wearing workout clothes at all. But I did have comfortable sandals on. I wanted to give up. But instead I kept trying, as I walked I started to feel better. I tried to joke around with my partner, it was important to have fun. Sure enough, after about twenty minutes we came to a hill, and I decided to jog up it.

I think working out can be fun, and it can be part of my everyday life. My partner and I call it recess sometimes, it captures that excitement and freedom that we associated with recess in school. But I am not going to lie and say it is easy. Getting used to moving my body again is hard. Sometimes I feel fat and awkward, sometimes sweaty. But if I can get passed that point, it can be a blast! Being able to move, walk, play and run, is so much fun. I want to have that back in my life. So I better do it.

I also took some photos, a cute heavy girl playing in the woods, it was great.

Why Applying for Jobs is a Weight Loss Tool

I am unemployed right now. This causes me a lot of anxiety and fear, as I am sure it causes most people. These feelings have been overwhelming lately. This has made it easy to stay on the couch. It has made it easy to eat things that I shouldn't. When I feel so afraid, I don't even want to try. I feel like I am going to be a huge disappointment anyways, so why would I even try to lose weight?

One of the only really effective ways to get rid of this fear and anxiety is to actually force myself to apply for jobs. To apply I have to get myself in a certain headspace. I have to pump myself up, talk highly of my skills in my cover letter, and tweak my resume to show that I have not just stopped living since I left my last job. Then I send off the application and I have to at least hope a little bit. This ends up feeling like a huge relief. It may not last long. I may not actually have a shot in hell at getting the job. It may be a crappy job that I don't really want, but think will help my life in some way. But at least I did it, at least I put myself out there.

Then, with a little bit better attitude, I have the resolve to put down the jar of hot fudge sauce.

 I am making a healthy, mostly vegetarian chili for dinner tonight. With light sour cream, avocado and fresh cilantro on top. No corn bread. But it will be yummy and I won't have to worry about how many calories it has.

Inspiration!

I browse Reddit almost every day. I know this may reveal me as a big internet nerd.

Today, right now, the top post is just a bit of inspiration from a woman who lost a lot o weight.

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/zgtdg/ended_a_miserable_relationship_lost_140_lbs_some/

It is nice when inspiration just whacks you in the face! It can be done. It can be done by real people, in real life, who have to balance all the sames things we do.

Edit: Oh I found that there is a whole subreddit of weight loss photos and stories. Yay! How much fun to see other internet nerds who helped themselves lose weight, it can be so tough.

http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit

Post Family Trip

Took a trip to Eastern Washington to visit some family. Did not gain any weight back! I will start being more diligent in posting. I have been doing some research on what makes a good weight loss blog. I also have been storing up good idea of things I can write about.
I don't want to lose momentum as we move into fall here in Seattle, it will get wet and cloudy. In the past I have had a touch of blues in the winter here. So I am going to work hard to avoid this and keep losing weight, looking for a job, and having a  blast.